Valentine’s Day Messages

The main variable in a Valentine’s message is not tone, it is stage. Something that is sweet at three weeks is oddly distant at eleven years, and something that is moving at eleven years is alarming at three weeks. Sorted accordingly.

New relationship (weeks to months)

Keep it warm and light. The mistake here is going too big, which puts pressure on someone still working out how they feel.

• I am very glad you happened. Happy Valentine’s Day.
• This is the best February I have had in a while, and it is mostly your fault.
• Still fairly new at this, but you are easily my favourite part of the week.
• Happy Valentine’s Day. I like you an unreasonable amount.
• I did not expect you. Very pleased about it.

Established relationship

• “You are still the person I want to tell everything to first. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
• “My favourite thing about this year was that you were in it.”
• “I do not say this often enough: you make my life considerably easier and better. Happy Valentine’s.”
• “Happy Valentine’s Day to the person who makes ordinary days worth having.”
• “Loving you is the easiest thing I do.”

Long relationships and marriage

• “Years in, and you are still the first person I look for in a room.”
• “We have been through some genuinely hard things and you have never once made me feel alone in them.”
• “I would choose this again, all of it, including the parts we would rather not repeat.”
• “Happy Valentine’s Day to the person who has seen every version of me and stayed.”

Funny

• Happy Valentine’s Day to the person who has tolerated my music taste without leaving.
• Roses are expensive in February. You get this message and my continued devotion.
• I would die for you, but I will not share my food. Let us be clear about the terms.
• Happy Valentine’s. Still no idea how I managed this.
• You are my favourite person to be mildly annoyed by.

Long distance

• “Different cities, same person, same feeling. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
• “I hate that today is a screen. Counting down properly now.”
• “Distance has not made this smaller. If anything it has made it obvious.”
• “One day we will spend this day in the same room. Until then — happy Valentine’s.”

For a crush

Private, low-pressure, and easy to say no to. Never public.

• “I have wanted to say this for a while — I like you. No expectations, I just did not want to keep it to myself.”
• “You make ordinary days better without trying. Thought you should know.”

Making it yours

Take whichever line is closest and add one concrete fact. “You make ordinary days worth having” is a nice sentence; “you make ordinary days worth having — the Tuesday we drove around looking for that shop that had closed was one of my favourite days this year” is a message only you could send.

If you want it to last longer than a chat thread, an interactive Valentine’s card gives it a permanent home with your photos and a voice note attached.